In conversation with a dear friend this week, we talked about Achiever Trauma.
Working with high achievers and considering myself a recovering achiever for a long time, I’ve become increasingly interested in the relationship between achievement and trauma, especially in toxic work cultures - which you could call Corporate Trauma.
Achievers have an above average fear of failure and of letting people down. They are focused on getting things done, either for themselves, others or both.
There’s nothing inherently problematic with this, except when mental, physical and spiritual problems manifest e.g. burnout or a crisis of meaning. It’s a problem when the need to achieve trumps basic wellbeing - as a way of life.
Why does this happen? The sense of validation derived from ‘getting things done’ acts as a drug that numbs the quietly painful dent in innate self-worth that most humans have to some degree as a result of growing up in an imperfect world.
Achievers often become plagued by perfectionism, self-doubt and workaholism which all have well documented mental health impacts.
Here are 5 other signs of Achiever Trauma based on my own observations:
[Read on or get a cup of tea and hear the video].
Restlessness: A constant sense of needing to do something, pursue new goals and set new challenges animates you. You feel guilty doing nothing. What you’ve already achieved isn’t good enough.
Needless-Wantless Vibes: Your own needs and wants may come second to ‘getting things done’. People get a sense that you don’t need anything or that you wouldn’t accept help if they offered it, and keep a certain distance from you (or become dependent). Empathy, care and intimacy can feel uncomfortable or even unsafe in extreme cases.
Depression and Anxiety: You may experience episodes of these and not know why - they may manifest as insomnia or fatigue and ‘procrastination’ (Note: Paying attention to your needs e.g. the need for rest, creativity, and connection usually alleviates these feelings).
Pathologising Vulnerability: Not knowing the answers or being unable to fix problems immediately activates a harsh inner-critic and brings up feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy.
The Yoyo Effect: In a toxic environment or when you don’t have clear direction in life, you may find yourself swinging between extremes: periods of intense productivity followed by procrastination; deep dedication to personal relationships then suddenly refocusing on career goals; or feeling on top of the world one moment and like a failure the next. You might go from being super focused to getting lost in distractions like social media, food, or other pleasures. The dilemma about the “right” way to live and the need to figure it out can leave you trying to control your life more than simply enjoying it or letting it unfold. If you have multiple cultural value systems or intergenerational trauma, the yoyo effect may be exacerbated.
Recently, I’ve wondered if there is a link between Achiever Trauma and ADHD (also marked by restlessness in the form of hyperactivity and impulsivity). As we are all increasingly exposed to unmanageable mental loads and unrealistic performance expectations (or what I call hyper-roles), any hyperactivity tendency is likely to be amplified.
Fortunately, we have effective protections like mindfulness and meditation, resistance through rest and liberational leadership in its various forms.
It’s important to reconnect with a sense of innate self-worth and take action from a place of inner-peace and creative inspiration (rather than from fear of failure or inadequacy).
Whether you consider yourself an achiever or not, your self-liberation from beliefs and behaviours that no longer serve you, serves the whole.
Have a great week,
Amina
p.s. The next Leaders Circle on Boundaries is coming soon. Subscribe to Wise Wednesdays newsletter to receive the updates.
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